In the Czech republic and the „deeply religious“ Slovakia the following joke is being circulated:

 Why the all-knowing god could not get his PhD title

1.- He produced only one single publication
2.- It has been written in Hebrew
3.- In that publication references on older publications used at compiling it were completely omitted
4.- It was never published as a whole of parts of it in any scientific journal.
5.- There are strong doubts , that he has written it himself
6.- Despite of the wide accessibility of that publication it is not known , what he did after writing it.
7,- Team work at the creative procedures described in the publication is none.
8.- No one succeeded  to repeat his experiments with identical results.
9.- He had no approval from any ethical commission to make such experiments with human beings
10.-When he did not succeed in one experiment, he tried to cover up his failure by drowning the objects of his experiment
11.- All individuals who did not behave according his expectation were eliminated from the  test
12.- He did not keep lectures personally, just he commanded his students to read them
13.- Instead of teaching himself   he  charged his son by teaching.
14.- He evicted his first two students, because they were eager to acquire knowledge
15.-  Although he  demands only ten conditions to be  fulfilled, the overwhelming majority of students fail at the practical test.
16.- He gives consultation extremely rarely , even if he does, he makes it from the top of a hill.

Sent by A. Klanecky.)

Courtesy of Victor J. Stenger - University of Hawaii

http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/vic_stenger/otherside.html

• Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children what they wanted to be when they grew up.
  Little Sheila says, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute."
  Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barks, "What did you say?"
  "A prostitute," Sheila repeats.
  Sister Catherine breathes a sight of relief and says: "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant."
  
  
• The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. "I give a thousand dollars!"
  The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!"
  
  
• The Pope died and like all good Christians he went to Heaven and knocked on the pearly gates. Peter opened up and asked who was calling. "I'm the Pope," said the Pope.
  Peter picked up the phone and rang Jesus. "There's someone here who says he's the Pope, do you know him?"
  "No, never heard of him. Send him to hell," says Jesus.
  "That's not right," protests the Pope. "I demand you ring God himself."
  So Peter rang God and said: "We've got someone who says he's the Pope. Do you know him?"
  God answered, "No. Never heard of him. Send him to hell."
  "Then I demand you ring the Holy Spirit," said the Pope.
  Peter rang and said: "I have someone here claiming to be the Pope. Do you know him?"
  "Yes," said the Holy Spirit. "He's the one who told everyone I got Maria pregnant. Send him to hell."
  
  
• A farmer named Clancey lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he cherished. The dog grew old and died. Clancey went to the parish priest, saying, "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a mass for the poor creature?"
  Father Mike told the farmer, "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church; however, there's a new denomination down the road apiece...not sure of their beliefs...but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
  Clancey said, "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
  Father Mike replied, "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?!"
  
  
• Q. What's the best way to get a nun pregnant?
  A. Dress her up as a choir boy

• There were two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their particular church. They both enjoyed riding the bikes and talking. Then one Sunday one of the ministers was walking. "My what happened to your bike?"
  "Can you believe that someone in my congregation stole it?"
  "NO!," then an idea struck him, " You want to know how to get your bike back?"
  "Yeah."
  "Next Sunday give a fire and brimstone sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you get to the part about Thout shall not steal, just look out into the congregation and see who looks guilty."
  Well the next Sunday the minister comes riding up on his bike.
  "Hey I see my suggestion worked."
  "Well sort of, I was going along real good on the Ten Commandments and when I got to the part about Adultery I remembered where I left the bike."
  

• A down-and-out, who has nevertheless lived a good, righteous life, dies and turns up at the golden gates. St Peter says: "OK, you can come in, but you'll have to use the tradesmen's entrance round the back."
  He duly goes round the back and manages to find his way into heaven through this scruffy little back door.
  Well, he is there rejoicing with the angels, when suddenly there is a fanfare of trumpets and the sound of majestic music. With great pomp and ceremony the golden gates are flung wide, and amid a triumphal procession in walks a Bishop, arm-in-arm with St. Peter himself. Heaven goes wild with cheering and general celebration.
  The tramp turns to the angel next to him and says "I don't get it, do you still have class distinctions up here, somehow I thought we'd all be treated equally "
  "Oh no", says the Angel, "you don't understand. We just had to celebrate. You see, we get a lot of people like you up here, but he's the first Bishop who's ever made it."
  
  

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